I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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