it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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