He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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