were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
