I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
