I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
