OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize