I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
