I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
