no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
