i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
