Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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