I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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