i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
