you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
