How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
