Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
