best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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