Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
