Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
