I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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