I'm going to jail i love you
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
