Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
