sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
