I am in a vortex of obligation.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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