My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
