3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Enjoy the penises
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
