and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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