Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
