The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
