So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
