I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
