If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
