so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
