i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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