Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
is it fun? or sober?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
