whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize