The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
