fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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