I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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