Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
