For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
