did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
