i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
