Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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