i just had sex bonerless
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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