: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
