I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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