Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
