can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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