3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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