do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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