We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
