last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
