wanna go halves on a baby?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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