she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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