So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
