I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
