i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
