if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
