Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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