Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
