I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
