Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i out mim tonsoeep
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