More tranny stories later!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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